When Shell suggested a few books that we could read, I was really interested in this one, because like Philip Yancy, I unfortunately have to consider myself a "prayer skeptic." I've tried for the past few years to not focus on all the questions I have about prayer, and just spend more time praying, but I always seem to get caught up in the doubt. I do believe that all humans have an inborn need to cry out to something greater than ourselves, and I think we have all experienced at some time or another in our life, but I often wonder how I can believe that prayer is so important, and also struggle doing it for even five minutes a day. Why do I feel like prayer is "more of a burden than a pleasure."? While Yancy mentions science and technology, modern skepticism, prosperity, and time pressures as reasons we don't pray as much, I have to add in that lack of discipline is a big reason for me. I can happily devote an hour to exercising because I know that I will see results, but I get antsy praying for a few minutes because I start to wonder if it is going to make a difference... or I simply lose focus. I'm glad that Yancy says that he is a pilgrim on this journey and not an expert, because I think I would find it hard to believe anyone claiming to be an expert on prayer - it is such a difficult topic. On the other hand, I do truly hope that when we finish this book and our discussion of it, I will feel like I've gained more perspective on prayer, and not more questions.
I hate to admit it, because it sounds really lame compared to things that other people have gone through and never lost faith in God, but the year in Korea when my puppy, Sadie, was sick for a month then died, took a hard hit on my belief in the power of prayer. So... that should give you an idea of how much I need a better understanding of prayer - A dead puppy shook my faith in God - I'm starting at a low point here ladies, and hoping to learn a lot! I want to be a better prayer, I want to have more faith, and I also want to know God better!
Julie
